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Thursday, 31 May 2012

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Finally bending over protests against petrol price hike, Indian government announced Fuel Security Bill

65% Indians will get fuel for almost free rates
After a bitter and strong protests against petrol price hike by opposition parties, Indian government bent over the demands and announced that it will create a special Fuel Security Bill in line with Food Security Act with a special legislature.

"While we saw all the common men came on the street, suddenly our an idea clicked in the master head of our Rahul Baba that why don't we announce a special package of Fuel Security Bill, to be converted as Fuel Security Act which will operate along with our masterpiece law of Food Security Act," said Manish Tewari, Congress Spokesperson.
Rahul Gandhi who himself attended a protest march in Hisar, Haryana took a closer view of the problems of Indian aam aadmis and thought of this great idea.
"Actually, there were many misconceptions over Rahul Baba's visit to Hisar. He was there to directly talk with protesters and resolve their matters immediately. They are really happy with the way Rahul Baba talked with them and really took serious view over their thoughts," said Chacha Digvijay Singh, a senior leader and Chief Mentor of Rahul Gandhi.
Congress senior leader, Rajiv Shukla informed India Satire Correspondent "Rahulji has talked with protesterji and asked us to draw a format of Fuel Security Bill which he had promised to the protesters. He told that the format will be in line with the Food Security Bill and should cover entire Below Poverty Line section (people with income of Rs28 per day or less) and Economically
 weaker sections, totalling to 65% of India's population. We draw a plan which Rahulji and Madamji also liked a lot. Based on the 1, 2, 3 and 4 plan we shall provide Kerosene at Re 1 per liter while LPG at Rs 2 per Kg (means Rs 33.5 per cylinder), diesel for Rs 3 per liter and petrol for Rs 4 per liter. That means entire fuel requirement for Rs 10 only. We shall first prepare the draft of Fuel Security Bill and will convert it as a Fuel Security Act."
However, he told correspondent to approach Pranab Mukherjee on understanding how entire plan is feasible.
Pranab Mukherjee told India Satire correspondent "Yea entire plan ish feashibol. If Roul Baba thinksh itsh fishible then itsh fishible. Shee whot I told media that factoarsh leading to India'sh shlowdown have bottomed out and that meansh we shall get more taksh revenue. And that revenue we can use to pay for thish new type of shubshidi."
But how will government collect the money as tax payers are already pay huge amount?
"Shee, Govornment ish conshern about comon man. We have to give petrol and diesel to poor at a very shubshidized ratesh. And what ish the taksh payer ish for? To pay for all thish shubshidiesh," told Pranab Mukherjee.
When asked about the step is to save UPA in 2014 elections, he said "Udi baba, don't shay like thish. UPA ish alwaysh famoush for populisht polishies and sho don't worry regishter yourself as a EWS member, you will alsho get petrol and dieshel at 3-4 rupeesh."

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