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Thursday, 7 June 2012

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BREAKING NEWS: Reliance Industries announced venturing into social networking business

Mukesh Ambani announcing Social Networking venture in AGM
It will start its own 'Relbook' to compete with Facebook
Continuing its trend to announce entry into some new business dimensions in its AGM, Reliance Industries will venture into Social Networking Sites, by launching 'Relbook'.

"After so many announcements in last so many years for entering into so many businesses, today we are proud to announce an entry in a Social Networking Market. We are glad to tell you that we shall directly compete with Facebook by launching our own Indian 'Relbook'. The venture will be another big bang entry for the company and value will be derived out of it would be immense for our shareholders," Mukesh Ambani told Reliance Industries' share holders.
The announcement was a big surprise for the investors, who were discussing the agenda of the company's meeting since morning. Right now the investors are confused on how to react to announcement, as the lucrative business is amid the fall out of Facebook shares on the US bourses keep them guessing. The stock price was just 1.7% up.  However, most of the reactions came like Reliance has the habit to enter into some useless businesses like textiles, retail, telecom, infocom, media and many more, now if it is social networking them what's so different.
SP Tulsian of said, "It's a forum for pleasing the shareholders, where you will see them giving a broad outlook or reaffirming their positive stance on the exploration, upstream, petchem, refinery segments and all sort of things."
He said "However, besides some entry in some useless and paltry businesses, I never thought Mukesh will announce venturing into Social Networing business. I never touched any IT stocks, because the businesses are confused and goes over the board, so I think I will stop tracking Reliance too if the company invests into such useless business."
Sources said that today morning Mukesh Ambani, Chairman of the company read a news that Facebook would shut down in next 5-8 years made him take sudden decision to invest in social networking sites.
"Every great corporate take immediate decision. Mukesh bhai also takes decision fast. He thought one moment and discussed with me and finally decided to go ahead," said Mukesh Ambani's driver Jatin bhai.
Mukesh Ambani said "I see sustainability of any business in the eyes of aam aadmi. When my driver said me to go ahead with the venture, I just gave a call to my management and told them to include topic in the AGM's agenda. Reliance Industries will invest Rs50,000Cr in this business and will generate employment for 10 lakh people. This will be our biggest investment."
SP Tulsian said "They have the habit of announcing extraordinary investments so forget that. I want to know how this Facebook operates.
He said to India Satire correspondent "It is sucking. Just can you tell me?"
Facebook, however, gave a depressed reaction. Mark Zuckerberg, its founder said "Reliance has no right to invest in all the unrelated businesses. At least let us leave for next 5-8 years, they want to shut our office down by next year only. 10 lakh people for Relbook, sucks."

(This is a fake news from fake sources. So don't believe in it)

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