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Friday, 28 October 2011

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Rahul Baba set to announce Triangular Revolution; Pizza in the house of every aam aadmi

DCFC reporter approached India's future Prime Minister Rahul Gandhi (Rahul Baba) to know his views on corruption, terrorism, aam aadmi and future strategies for Congress.

DCFC Reporter: Give us your views on corruption and terrorism.

Rahul Baba: I don't talk on the paltry things like corruption and terrorism. My agenda is to improve lifestyles of farmers, dalits and aam aadmis that is what we call triangular revolution. We have a lack of real infrastructure which has to spread properly throughout the country. I think we require to focus on it.

DCFC Reporter: Give us details on your triangular revolution.

Rahul Baba: Triangular revolution means improvement in the lifestyles of farmers, dalits and aam aadmis with secular focus.
Actually evolution of this term traces back to my joining of Diggy School of Fundamental Economics (DSFE), a school which has a very customised focus. Diggy Chacha is the dean and professor of DSFE. He has mindboggling vision and ideas. I would like to say that nobody really recognised his metal.

DCFC Reporter: We know everything about Diggy Chacha. Please focus on the question, what is this triangular revolution?

Rahul Baba: Oh sorry! Generally, when Diggy Chacha's name come to my mouth I become very heavy hearted and emotional. Nothing can describe his talent. Ok back to question, triangular revolution focuses on creating real infrastructure for these 3 categories. Today, the real question is not corruption and terrorism, it is problems of availability of real infrastructure which will improve the health related issues of farmers, dalits and aam aadmis.

DCFC Reporter: What is real infrastructure?

Rahul Baba: See real infrastructure is availability of sources of best quality food produced through small scale outlets like McDonalds, Domino's Pizza, Pizza Hut and various Italian food destinations in every village and city. See, generally I go to some small village or town every 2-3 days in India, currently in UP, I don't see Italian food outlets or McDs which really is irritating. How would an aam aadmi work when real motive to work is not available? Urban well-to-do households are the only beneficiaries of healthy Italian food while farmers, dalits and aam aadmis are deprived of it.

DCFC Reporter: So what is your plan to improve real infrastructure?

Rahul Baba: Yea, actually when I will start as a PM of India, I am planning to announce various subsidy packages for these 3 categories customers. I am in talks with McD, Domino's and Pizza Hut managements and asking them to expand their network to rural India. I also told them that the India's poverty line is reduced dramatically in 2011 alone, thanks to Monty Uncle's Rs32 a day per capita income level.

DCFC Reporter: What if they don't agree to expand due to their own quality requirements?

Rahul Baba: See my Granny nationalised all the banks in India as they were not eager to expand in villages. I will nationalise Pizza and Italian food business in India creating a "Bread/Paav Revolution". Therefore, McD, Pizza Hut and Domino's Pizza will reach all the villages in India taking their calories to sky high by providing most hygienic food for them. Plus I will also get benefitted, as I would eat into Domino's Pizza rather than in a villager's house which really has changed my own body structure. The project tagline is "Yummy Pizza all over India".

DCFC Reporter: Ok great! But why do you feel terrorism is a paltry issue?

Rahul Baba: See I have never told terrorism is a platry issue please don't put everything into my mouth. What I feel is terrorism can be handled by Diggy Chacha. When I will become India's first great Prime Minister I am going to give charge of home ministry and external affairs ministry to Diggy Chacha. Diggy Chacha has an elaborate plan to remove terrorism from the country.

DCFC Reporter: But Diggy Chacha has no experience in handling Union Home Ministry and External Affairs Ministry.

Rahul Baba: Diggy Chacha has the experience. He has really managed my home very well and he also looks after external affairs of Congress Party so there is no issue I believe.

DCFC Reporter: Ok Thanks Rahul Baba for your interview.

(Fake News and Interview)

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