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Tuesday, 20 March 2012

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Doctors detected new disease called 'Squeezomnia' in India’s Prime Minister Manmohan Singh

UPA Government's allies are told to take rest for curing Manmohanji's disease

India's coolest prime minister ever, Manmohan Singhji was detected with a new kind of diseases. This disease was diagnosed in Manmohanji by doctors, after he was feeling restless and squeezed between different sides.

"The squeezing process is initially gradual and then takes fast speed making patient feel impatient and restless. He can't open his mouth or move hands freely. This is out of excess love and care by patient's friends and relatives," said Doctor Arindam C. Bhagat, most innovative mind and recognized as best doctor in the world.
Doctor Arindam C. Bhagat said "Initially, we thought it was a Type II Digestion problem came from silently squeezing inner abdominal muscles, as patient is not allowed to talk. But this was different thing and we also took some help from foreign doctors like Ian Jones."

"Finally we found out it as a new disease and named it as 'Squeezomnia'," said Dr. Bhagat, "This disease came after a lot of love shown by patient's allies. We took samples of Mr. M Karunanidhi and Ms. Mamata Banerjee and found out viruses of Squeezomnia which infected our lovely Manmohanji. Both of them have squeezed Manmohanji with so much of love and passion for last few days that now he became restless and impatient. In this kind of disease, instead of patient, his allies are told to take rest so that patient can take some breathe."

Dr. Ian Jones told reporters "I would like to recommend a Premotherapy for Manmohanji which will cool down the disease. We request his allies not to squeeze him with so much of care for at least next few days till he recovers to normal breath. I requested Manmohanji to talk at least in front of mirror for at least 10 minutes so that he would recover fast. Silence is of no help."

Reaction of Congress Party leaders was mixed. Kapil Sibal said "What the f**k is this? A nonsense kind of disease he called. I don't understand why he avoids rest at this age. If Rahul Baba is not interested now then I will become prime minister and will straighten up the country."

Salman Khurshid said "This matter is now with doctors so it would not be a good idea to comment on it."

Chacha Digvijay Singh (Diggy Chacha) said "I think now Manmohanji should retire from his post. I tried to mentor Rahul in such a way that neither ruling party allies nor opposition would squeeze him. He is with no bones buttery kind of soft guy, best suited as India's cute prime minister."

Irritated on Diggy Chacha, Soniaji (Madamji) said him "Chup raaho Diggyji. Maanmohaanji will carry till 2014 at least and if Congress will have clear majority Raul Baba will take charge."

Soniaji afterwards looking at Reporters told "I asked Maanmohaanji to not to waari. It is not a long period till 2014."
Doctors confirmed that they have sorted out all the copyright related issues and applied for patent.

Dr. Arindam Bhagat said "I applied for patent for the treatment and name Squeezomnia and also included my name and the name of the patient so that nobody will claim the success for this disease."
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