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Wednesday, 21 March 2012

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53% of Indian population has ‘No-Class’ – Montek Singh Ahluwalia


An aspiring category between below and above poverty line has serious dilemma over improving or deteriorating their classes

Montek Singh Ahluwalia (Monty), the deputy chairman of Planning Commission has seriously put a question mark on 53% of India's total population to decide their class. Government has named this class as 'No-Class' with no purpose.

"This class is neither middle class nor lower class, it has no-class," said demographics expert Nishant Pande, "Monty has really made people a bit confused over their classes."

Sadashankar Gosavi who works on daily wages of Rs100 per day while he is a sole earner of his family of 5 was confused over his status.
Rupee banned for No-Class

Gosavi said "What would I be? Am I into BPL category or am I in above poverty line category? Shall I call myself a rich or poor or middle class?"

Interestingly, India Beggars Association (IBA) also trashed out Monty's theory of Rs29 per day income qualify to below poverty line.

Talking to Diggy Chacha Fan Club (DCFC) reporter, President of IBA, Ramkisen Tripathi said "Hum 50-60 rupaiyaah to aisen hi kamaa let hai din kaa to kaa hum amir huye? Wo Monty sathiyaa gayaa hai. Gudbag kahi kaa."

India's APL beggar
Ramkisen Tripathi said "Eee Montywaa ki theory to u Sibal gudbag ke shunya nuksaan (zero-loss theory) theory se bhi badtar hai." 

Mckinsey analyst, Chatur Aiyer said "This way I believe our dream to make Mumbai poverty free is fulfilled. Based on Monty's ideas Mumbai's beggars can be categorized into high income group. Funny thought process of 
Planning Commission. I suggest government to outsource work from most respected organization of Arindam Chaudhuri's Planman Commission."
India's superman Planman

Survey suggests India's middle class population is 14% while rich class is 3% and now Planning Commission estimates 30% population is below poverty line so question arises about rest 53% people who squeezed between above and below poverty lines.

Talks are going on that this aspiring 53% of population will form its organization and would ask for reservation from the government under No-Class category.
India's No Class Wonder

"Yea that's a great idea. I would love to understand the system of castes and religions in this income group so that Congress will pitch for reservation and would attract great voters for 2014 elections," said Chacha Digvijay Singh.

S. Ramalingam who is doing survey on India's income distribution rubbished the idea of calling this class as No-Class and asked Monty to giver rationality to his job.

"What the hell? This is really an idiotic idea. If a person is sole wage earner in a family and earns 50 rupees per day, his family should qualify for below poverty line status. Boss Monty, take 100 rupees from me every day for next 1 month and show us that you can live on it. Monty your Paneer costs Rs65 per paav kilo."

However, supporting Monty's claims, Sibal Uncle said "Whatever criticism is going on is totally bull*hit and I believe there is a zero loss for government whether to accept Rs 29 as BPL or Rs 290 as BPL."

Animal lovers, particularly dog lover, Maneka Gandhi said "Ha ha ha, my dog, Jocky's chicken costs more than 100 rupees per kg. Funny Monty! Shut up Jocky…"

However, Monty was rigid on his claims. He said "Planning Commission is a responsible organisation and we have target to eradicate poverty by 2020. Our next target for below poverty line would be Rs15 per person per month so that almost whole poverty line would be eradicated from India and everybody will end up calling themselves rich."

F**k these people blame everything on us
- Montek and Manmohan
While DCFC reporter tried to connect Manmohan Singh, India's coolest prime minister ever, he was a bit confused initially about what to say. Then furious he was (Reporter couldn't sense from his facial expression), Manmohanji said "I am already fed up of Karuna and Mamata now what is this nonsense. Go to Monty and sort the issue out there." 
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