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Friday, 3 February 2012

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Gutkha and Jarda companies battling to rope in Kapil Sibal as their brand ambassador

Sibal may earn million dollars because of his habit to chew his own words

It was a very busy day in Manikchand Gutkha's head office. Every senior manager and director was calling to the different ministry and different official to seal the deal. Every officer was trying to get connected directly to Kapil Sibal's office before any other Gutkha or Jarda company reach him.

"We have no time to talk some idiotic news agency like Diggy Chacha Fan Club (DCFC). See if we delay making call to Sibal's office, Goa Gutkha company will use it as an opportunity and sign Kapil Sibal for its next ad," said Mehul Chaurasia, Senior Manager of Manikchand Gutkha, famous among High Class people with high class likes (Unche log Unchi Pasand).

DCFC correspondent still stick for the interview when Chaurasia showed a Peon Ram Kisan Pandey who inserted a bit of Goa gutkha packet in his mouth and started telling the entire story. Pandey said "Boss, ee logwaa Sibal kaa direct connection chaahat hai (These people want direct connection of Kapil Sibal. Hamaar seth Rasiklal Dhariwalji ne bola hai ki u ko bakshis milegi jo Sibal ke saath deal karwaayega (Mr. Dhariwal, owner of Manikchand told employees that anybody who will sign the deal with Kapil Sibal will get prize.)

DCFC correspondent finally got in touch directly with Dhariwal, who after many requests started answering.
"These days Kapil Sibal is getting popular for chewing his words like any chain gutkha eater chews gutkha. Therefore, our research wing said that we should get Sibal to our brand ambassador. This way I think our reach can expand to page-3 polished people, celebrities and politicians. It would give us direct and indirect benefits. Directly we can get big spenders while indirectly people who are not our consumers will know that we can better be treated and tasted," said Dhariwal.

He said "Since, Sharad Pawarji stopped chewing tobacco a long time, we hardly have any good politician to represent ourselves. If we get Kapil Sibal as our brand ambassador we can definitely reach to a segment of polished people and celebrities. We actually want to endorse all of our brands from Kapil Sibal. We are ready to offer win-win deal to Sibal. It would be a millionaire deal for him and we shall also give charges of all our legal pending cases to his office."

A draft of compensation and job details

Job details

·         To endorse all Manikchand Brands

·         Will have to eat Manikchand brand gutkhas in all the parties and seminars

·         If not, at least will have to carry the packets of gutkhas


·         Million dollar deal (Just put the number and the deal will be signed)

·         All legal cases and charges will be shifted to Sibal's office

·         1 year stock of all the products free of cost to Sibal, family and all relatives

When asked why Kapil Sibal, Dhariwal with a smile said "Our tobacco related industry is very alert and generally 
tries to find out best faces to represent. We track all political, sports and bollywood events to find out such faces. Yesterday, when I was in a club sitting with Jagidish Prasad Joshi (Goa Gutkha owner), we saw Kapil Sibal's interview in which he chewed his words that there was Zero Loss to the government from allotment of 2G licenses. Both of us stand up from our chairs at a time and told yea... 'here is that guy'. However, we still tried to hide our pleasure but as soon as we reached to our office started exploring how can we sign a deal with Kapil."

An expert, Illyas Badmashi who tracks this industry very closely said "It is not a great surprise that chewing tobacco product industry is trying to get Kapil Sibal as its brand ambassador. It is trying to revive its high class markets and Sibal is great endorser of their brands. 2G licenses is not the only issue where he chewed his words, he also did same thing with internet censorship. First he shocked everybody by telling that net should be banned afterwards he gave a pleasant surprise by chewing his own words by saying it can't be ban. Such a kind of brand ambassador will lead these companies to prosperity."

DCFC reporter tried to contact Mr. Joshi but he was not available for comment. But sources said that he was reaching the office of Kapil Sibal. Few other sources also told the reporter that Jarda barons are also trying hard to get the appointment of Kapil Sibal.

In other development, few NGOs are trying to get approved a new warning banner for the political parties. "Chewing own words is injurious to health".

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