India Satire: Following the suicidal threat from Vijay Mallya, Government announced farm like debt-waiver scheme for Kingfisher Airlines

Under the scheme a consortium led by SBI and LIC will fund Kingfisher Airlines

After much of a mockery made by Indian banks on a serious issue of Kingfisher's bailout, the King of Good Times, Vijay Mallya threatened Indian government for a suicidal attempt. His threat stirred the Indian political circle and gave favorable results. In an urgent meeting called by Civil Aviation Minister along with Finance Minister, the Indian government decided to infuse billion dollars in the lagging airline company and waive all the debt along with interest it took in yesteryears.

"This is similar to our most successful agriculture debt waiver scheme of Rs71000Cr, which we proudly launched in 2008-09," said Civil Aviation Minister, Ajit Singh who himself is a farmer's son.

He said "It took some time for Finance Minister to agree on the proposal but Vijay Mallya's suicide threat worked well and he also believe that the debt should be waived. We couldn't miss such a great person who works day-n-night for the welfare of socialites errhhh... societies."

In 2008, the government launched Agricultural Debt Waiver and Debt Relief Scheme of Rs71000Cr. On similar terms, the government plans to consider Vijay Mallya a 'farmer of "spirits" and King of old good times' and will launch Crownloser Debt Waiver and Debt Relief Scheme. Vijay Mallya's Kingfisher will be the sole beneficiary of the scheme. Recently, Air India was partially benefited from such a scheme. The Scheme came as a major relief for lagging Airline company, Kingfisher Airlines and the fan club of Vijay Mallya.

Under the scheme, a consortium of banks led by SBI will waive the debt and India's investment arm for third-rated investments LIC will invest fresh money in Kingfisher Airlines.

"Yea, that's right I called Ajit Singh in the morning after reading his press interview," said Vijay Mallya. Ajit Singh in an interview said "The government is not going to bailout, but we hope Kingfisher can mobilize resources and survive."

Sources said Vijay Malya blatantly asked Ajit Singh to show the sources from where he can mobilize money for Kingfisher Airlines. However, Ajit Singh whose government is itself facing worst financial crisis (circa Fiscal Deficit) situation had no answer. Sources also said that Vijay Mallya threatened Ajit Singh that he will make a suicide attempt and his fans who popularly known as 'bevdas' (drunkards) will encircle (popularly known as Gherao) his house. He also told that after suicidal attempt Kingfisher will stop supplying its best wine and liquor to top government officials.

Vinal Shah, President of Bevdas Association of India confirmed the development. He said "I was there with Mallya and I only gave him the advice to use suicide threat. The threat worked well as Ajit Singh didn't want to disturb the continuous supply of Kingfisher varieties and wanted to avoid embarrassment of gherao."

However, according to sources of opposition parties and ruling party, the government which would have lost a support of a community of luring 5mn drunkards took the decision in favour of Vijay Mallya.

"This is totally a vote-bank politics played by Congress Government. To attract a big lobby of drunkards, the government played its cards. We ask all the drunkards to don't trust in Congress' vote bank politics," said Nitin Gadkari, BJP President.

UP's chief minister Mayawati said "This announcement is totally against the Election Commission's (EC) code of conduct and we raise a serious doubt on the biased nature of manuwadi EC."

DCFC reporter couldn't understand nostril language of Mulayam Singh Yadav. However, something he was telling about 'Mulayamwadi' was heard of.

However, this entire event was rubbished by Ajit Singh. He said "It was not the same thing. It is not a vote bank politics. Actually, we respect Mallya a lot. His taste and his understanding of human taste is above par. We don't want such a kind of person to be missed. Therefore, we plan to revive Kingfisher Airlines."

The proposal saw a strong resistance from Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee (Pranabda) who is seriously tackling the fiscal deficit monster. A source told that Pranabda was seen telling that this proposal is idiotic and government has no money for waste purposes.

"Whot the bollshit thish ish? Thish hole shaga is totally untolorabole. How can I redush the defishit now?" said irritated Pranabda.

However, due to force by High-Command and Ajit Singh with a beautiful plate of rasgulla helped taking favorable result Pranabda.

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