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Sunday, 12 August 2012

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Indian Government announces compulsory learning course of art of how to save oneself from riot

Govt to import Sparta like shields for its citizens
Government will also issue shields to citizens to secure themselves
Fucked up by different riots and thereby rising work pressure led to Indian ministers announced a special course of how to defend oneself from a riot or some stupid violence. This course will be a 5 years compulsory, non-negotiable and non-transferable course for the schooling children and will be implemented along with Right To Education Law.

"It will be a Right to Defend from Riot Law and will be compulsory for everybody under the age 5. We shall teach a man of the age of 5 years to 10 years how to defend when somebody comes to you with stones, bullets, kerosene wrappers and different other arms and ammunitions such as chopper etc," said India Education and HRD Minister Kapil Sibal.
He said "I am fucked up yaar because of these routine riots. Everyday, I am losing at least 5-6 hairs from my head. Life sucks yaar. How much work I would do? Looking at my hectic life Sushil Kumar Shinde told me to just implement this idea from schooling itself so that whatever 4-5 hair are remaining on his head will remain over there."
Sushil Kumar Shinde also confirmed the development and told that he was really glad that if such course implemented in India it would become riot free within years as like it became polio free.
"Guys, see I don't want to take some stupid responsibilities of the inefficiency of a small constable. If he doesn't carry his gun properly then what the fucking thing I do. See this is a serious issue and not kiddish one. Also these people who do riots are like my brothers and therefore people themselves have to grow up and have to defend themselves. We are also planning to launch a package of free shields for BPL category and 20% discount to above poverty line category so that they would defend themselves from stone pelting," told Shinde to India Satire.
He said "See I don't have habit to work in a hectic schedule. Just have a bit of fun at work and a lot of rest so makes me feel happy and funny to. So these kind of stupid things make me think how to approach new and new innovative ways to tackle. This is an innovative way. Take a kid at the 5 years of age tell him how he can save himself from riots. A real rigorous course and make him a great defender. But as in India everybody is my sister and brother, they can't attack."
Mumbai citizens are very happy with the decisions that they are going to get shields to secure themselves from Hindu attack, Muslim attack, immigrant attack and any other attack that can come future.
Harsh Baweja, a college student said "Yea funny idea, I will wear Batman like coat. Also they can give us some sparta like shields. Wow how would it look when the packed train will have everybody shielded?"

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