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Thursday, 27 December 2012

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Delhi Police Officer talks on his fuckingly awesome health

Delhi Police is in the news for its great energy and vitality in stopping protest at its root and make the people aware that the strength of the law implementation in Delhi is so much that no fucking idiot aam aadmi can protest. Recently, many Delhi Police Officers demonstrated this vigor in the demonstration against rape.

India Satire correspondent caught a senior Police Officer to know the secrets of healthy life.

"We don't pay attention to the health, that is the major secret of our healthy lifestyle. We eat, drink and sleep much that help us to keep our health strong," said a proud Delhi Police Officer who was having a glass of tea on the streets of chilling Delhi. He suggested looking at his tummy.

He said "Now it's chilling temperature, a natural protection from the tedious work that we have to do whole year. Most of the criminals like to sleep for long hours and therefore crime rate reduces sharply during this season. In other seasons, we hardly able to work, as most of the times we work only to protect politicians. Still I would love to give our own ideas of healthy life."

He said "Our day starts with all the major natural activities. Sometimes we also take bath. However, most of the time sweat is enough to clean our bodies. While our burgeoning tummies only show that we are the most conservative people in terms of consuming natural resources, they also will be major supplier of fuel for next millennium."

"We are aware that having good food such as 'free' chole bhature, 'free' chaas, 'free' chai in the morning makes sense. 'Free' food is always healthy and stays in your stomach for long time to continuously generating energy. Lunch is very simple sabzi, roti, daal, rice. We take it from home and sometimes from other well wishers as well," said the officer.

He also disclosed "This is not in public domain. But we also like to have paper in our dinner that is healthiest food in the world. It is properly designed and generally best used for buying something. This paper is also called as money and it is rich with carbon."  

In terms of daily work out, he said "Long workout reduces the life span. Keep it simple. Stay or sit somewhere for long and you will be healthier. We also keep our duties more focused towards protecting politicians rather than citizens. If we start protecting citizens, we require exert more and more which is actually a serious disaster for our health. We however, occasionally practice lathi maar exercise."

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