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Wednesday, 25 July 2012

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After IMD's stupid forecasts, Hindustan Unilever plans to make its own rain forecasts

HUL will use Infosys's clouds to compute the measurement of rains
Happy with its own great results and fine with entering unnecessary field like fabric whitener and water purifier, HUL plans to start its own rain forecasting business division. Though, industry is divided in giving its independent view, the development is expected to stir entire political and industrial arena of India. HUL earlier warned India on draught like situation and it will use this experience in entering the area of rain forecasting.
"Guys, it's necessary. IMD never touched its own forecasts. It is like Infosys which never gave its own managers a satisfaction to reach its own targets. We seek greater opportunities of business and profit making in rain forecasting," said HUL's CEO Nitin Paranjpe.
Industry sources said that HUL has experience in entering unnecessary businesses such as water purifiers and Ujala fame Fabric Whitener.
"This step is quite surprising and you can say not surprising too. Entering into these kind of businesses are more unnecessary than unrelated," said an analyst asking anonymity.
He said "No one can teach logic to HUL. So if it is going to make entry in the rain forecasting business then we only can judge the levels of investment it will make and what kind of margin it would get."
FMCG industry welcomed HUL's entry into the business.
FICCI President RV Kanoria said "That's great. HUL will give some accuracy to the forecasting of monsoon and people, particularly farmers would get at least a bit of accurate data. We have experienced from its product 'Pureit' that it can kill 99.9% viruses and its Lifebuoy soap cleans 99.9% germs while its toothpaste Pepsodent removes 99.9% plaque."
Nitin Paranjpe said "We shall send a team of rain forecaster, experts outsourced from equity research industry to forecast rains. Equity analysts, who forecast anything by experience, will also forecast rains for the farmers."
Sources speculated that HUL has identified Citigroup's equity analyst, who never gave 'Sell' recommendation on HUL and has immense experience of number crunching and huge data gathering. He also prepared 5 times more than 200 pages reports on FMCG industry and particularly HUL.
He said "Infosys will provide us cloud technology. It has great team which manages clouds from clouds. Our analysts will measure each and every centimeter of rain and will hover over the earth and whenever cloud gets stopped somewhere they will send us the message by using new age technology."
Infosys spokesperson confirmed the development and he said "We actually have speedometers to measure the speed of clouds moving from all directions. We are happy that HUL selected us for this new initiative."

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