India Satire: Government to introduce No Goods No Services Tax to boost tax collection

A measure is considered to be path breaking in curbing fiscal deficit

Cash-strapped Indian government plans to introduce 'No Goods No Service Tax' to Indian tax payers in the Union Budget 2012-13. This path breaking decision will reduce fiscal deficit dramatically and give a strong revenue flow to the government.

"Yes that's true we plan to introduce 'No Goods No Service Tax' on the Indians, as opposition parties have put no choice in front of us. This tax is a great achievement of our government, as it will increase tax to GDP ratio to 30% levels in its first year itself and will take fiscal deficit to fiscal surplus levels," said P K Sinha, a Finance Ministry Official, who after circulating this article requested us to keep his name anonymous. We request our readers to keep his name anonymous Sinha.

The central government is battling with various state governments on implementation and revenue-sharing arrangement over Goods and Service Tax while opposition parties are against foreign direct investment (FDI) in retail, holding government's nostrils tightly in the current high fiscal deficit scenario. Finally, to overcome the situation and collect some decent amount which will fill the fiscal deficit and also boost government's revenues, empowered group of ministers (EGoM) of the central government to decide No Goods No Service Tax (NGNST).

"It is more simplified than Goods and Service Tax (GST). It would be charged on the consumer of goods and services as well as potential consumer of goods and services," said Rajneesh Kumar, Private Secretary to Pranab Mukherjee, Finance Minister of India.

Simplifying the understanding of media personnel about potential consumer of goods and services, Gupta said "We considered people over 3 years of age which crossed the levels of using diapers. We identify these people as potential consumer of goods and services and therefore they will be charged through their parents."

Gupta said "Central government is considering the revenues from potential consumers of goods and services to state governments while revenue from actual consumers will be entirely with central government. Our estimates are that potential consumers will use 120% more goods and services compared to actual consumers when they will become actual consumers for goods and services and therefore guardians of potential consumers will be charged by 120% tax."

Diggy Chacha Fan Club political correspondent called Pranab Mukherjee who said he has already finalized the draft and it is in releasing process on budget day therefore he can't comment. But he said that such tax will take India into shining era and will change fiscal deficit to fiscal surplus in maximum two years. He also informed the correspondent that he was therefore very much enthused about introducing higher slab of income of Rs 3 lakhs most of which will come back to the government through NGNST.

Pranabda said DCFC correspondent "We are pished off becaushe of oppozishion. Now thish NGNST will prove to be a real taksh collecshion method a benchmark for world."

When DCFC correspondent asked Pranabda that it would be like cess, he said "Am I Chiddu to introdush shesh? It is taksh and would be a clear cut taksh."