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Friday, 20 January 2012

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Pranab Mukherjee appeals Vodafone to purchase Govt. Bonds of Rs11000Cr to fill up the deficit gap

Loss to exchequer left Govt thinking what went wrong and what its crisis managers decided

"The government has lost battle against black money and now it also lost to secure a paltry sum like Vodafone makes us fill shameful," said Guru Ramdev Baba in an attacking statement.

In a landmark judgement, the Supreme Court has set aside the Bombay High Court ruling and asked the Income Tax (I-T) Department to return Rs 2,500 crore deposited by Vodafone International Holdings within two months along with 4% interest.

The apex court also asked its registry to return within four weeks, the bank guarantee of Rs 8,500 crore given by the telecom major.

Reacting to the judgement, Abhishek Manu Singhvi, one of the senior advocates who appeared in the case, said "we are happy with the Supreme Court order. It has minutely gone through the case and come to a conclusion. Irrespective of the result it is a tremendous victory for Indian judicial System"

Now cash strapped government is seriously thinking how can it return the money. "We can't pay the entire sum and will ask bank guarantees from Vodafone," said O P Iyer, a senior official of Central Board of Direct Taxes (CBDT).

"We already are short of collecting the money from India's tax payers who is facing real trouble of inflation, it obviously includes corporate India. Even I avoided paying tax by applying some strange moves," one senior official with CBDT said, requesting an anonymity.

O P Iyer said "Actually for bridging the revenue gap, we thought that collection from Vodafone would help. But now as we lost the case we request Finance Ministry to please provide some money."

However, Finance Ministry Joint Secretary Dr Thomas Mathew told Diggy Chacha Fan Club (DCFC) reporter "We can't give money to IT department as we ourselves are cash strapped. When I got call from Iyer, I asked SBI Chairman, Pratip Chaudhuri to draw a cheque of Rs11000Cr and we shall issue them 20 years long term bonds. However, the bank gave useless reply. Chaudhuri said that the bank itself has demanded Rs6000Cr from the government through rights issue and the Indian government has already promised to give them by issuing some other kind of bonds.

He also said that it has huge amount of exposure in the trash companies like Kingfisher Airlines, so please go to RBI or to h..l."

Mathew said "I personally asked Pranabda to call Subbada and ask him to provide Rs11000Cr to return it to Vodafone. Pranabda told me that the RBI itself is facing serious cash crunch and it is of no use."

DCFC reporter contacted Pranabda who was busy in convincing Momota didi on the phone. However, an insider source told DCFC reporter that Pranabda, Salman Khurshid and Kapil Sibal had a serious confidential meeting to discuss the issue and find out the resolutions. He gave us the detailed transcript of the meeting.

Transcript of the meeting:

Sibal Uncle: (Watching a television news channel) What the h..l this id..t Abhishek Singhvi is saying? He is happy over the loss of Rs11000Cr to our IT department.

Salman Bhaai: I always believed in a golden min but this id..t Singhvi believes in golden mean. Now tell me he already burnt his fingers by representing Dow Chemicals in Bhopal Gas Tragedy and now he is talking this b...s..... How much money this guy have received in terms of fees

Pranabda: Bond koro bokwosh... Itsh me who feelsh the heat alwaysh... Now sherioushly shombody elsh handol that Momota Didi.... sho many onwonted demonds. She ish ashking me to give that bl..dy aviashion FDI detailsh.

Sibal Uncle understood the track was changed and therefore asked Pranabda...

Sibal Uncle: Pranabda we are talking about Vodafone case and the statements of this Abhishek Singhvi is making. Tell me how you will bridge the gap of fiscal deficit.

Pranabda (in an angry tone): That you would have ashk me before preshenting that trash Zero losh theory. Give me entire 2G money of Rs1,76,000Cr, and I will brish the fishkal defishit gap.

Sibal Uncle: Please don't change the track Pranabda. What shall we do with Vodafone?

Salman Bhaai: I recommend stringent laws and regulations for Vodafone. We shall ask them that top brass of 
Vodafone India and Vodafone UK i.e. CEO, MD and Chairman should minority people.

Pranabda: Whot or you toking about? They will remove all the investment and thish losh will increash to more than 1lakh crore rupeesh.

Salman Bhaai: Now I can't think Pranabda.

Pranabda (reacted like something came to his mind): I would call Vodafone CEO and will ashk him to invesht Vodafone'sh money in India'sh Telecom Infrashtructure Taxh Free Bondsh. I will tell him that interesht and capital gainsh would be taxh free for the company and will be repaid after 20 yearsh. How do you feel? (Pranabda asked both the senior leaders, expecting a great reply).

Salman Bhaai (yawning and belshing): Aiyyyiiyyyy.... Burrrrrrr.... Sorry... Good idea but if he doesn't accept?
Pranabda worryingly looked at Sibal Uncle.

Sibal Uncle (Scratching his head): (Giving a mischievous smile) Don't worry, if he doesn't accept, we shall check how much money this Singhvi has received and we shall ask him to pay all Rs11000Cr to Vodafone.
Both Pranabda and Salman Bhaai nodded and the meeting ended.

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