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Monday, 10 October 2011

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Part I: Audios of Lokpal Drafting Committee of Team Anna and Government pannel leaked

The UPA government will make public the details of its negotiations with Team Anna. In a response to an RTI application, the government agreed to put in the public domain audio recordings of the Joint Drafting Committee (JDC) constituted to draft the Lokpal Bill.

The JDC, comprising five members of Team Anna and an equal number of Cabinet ministers, was formed to finalise the draft of the Lokpal Bill. The Department of Personnel and Training (DoPT) had earlier refused to make these audio tapes public. However, latter for the benefit and well being of Indians it decided to release after proper consultation with Montek Singh Ahluwalia (Monty Uncle) about the overall impact on economic situation of India amid global recession.

Diggy Chacha Fan Club (DCFC) has got the leaked copies of those audio tapes.



Union Law Minister Veer Appa Moily, Home Minister P Chidambaram (Chiddu Uncle), Telecom Minister Kapil Sibal (Sibal Uncle), Minister of Minority Affairs Salman Khursheed (Salman Bhaai) and Finance Minister and Chairman of the panel Pranab Mukherjee (Pronobda).

Team Anna:

Anna Hazare, Shanti Bhushan, Prashant Bhushan, Santosh Hegdem and Arvind Kejriwal

Disclaimer: People with weak hearts and brain injuries are not allowed to listen or to read the transcript of these tapes.

Security guy shouted: UPA members and Team Anna players hazir ho!

Pronobda started the meeting

Pronobda: Madamji wosh ondor tremendos pressore becosh of Annaji'sh fost and told osh to go and sholve the problem therefor I wont to add Madamjee'sh name to this lockpoll meeting. Before this panol meeting, Diggy shuggeshted me that we should give Madamjeesh name to hoverall idea. He shuggeshted that name should be Shonia Gondhi Lockpoll Bill Scheme, in short SGLBS.

Salmaan Bhaai: Yea, I think Pranabda is right, what do you think Chiddu.

Chiddu Uncle: Yea true! I appreciate Diggy's presence of mind. He has a vision and whatever he told makes sense. Appa does the law provide any kind of support to the name.

Veer Appa (Appa): Yea It can. By the way, hats off to Diggy. I miss his visionary suggestions in this meeting.

Arvind Kejriwal (irritated): Ok fine, we should first discuss on the contents of the bill rather than the name.

Pronobda: Orey boba... Itsh not happoning. All government schemesh have propor namesh loike Mohotma Gandhi Nashional Rurol Employment Guarontee Act, Jawahorlol Nehru Nashional Orban Renewal Misshon. We shold 
forsht deshoide the name.

Shanti Bhushan (in irritated tone): Ok we are agree for the name, now should I read the first content?

Salmaan Bhaai: Yea read.

Arvind Kejriwal: First; to establish a central government anti-corruption institution called Lokpal, supported by Lokayukta at the state level.

Sibal Uncle: No, no... what the h..l! Already Congress has so many Chief ministers and so few BJP has. We can not accept Lokayukta at the state level. All state anti-corruption agencies would be closed and responsibilities taken over by centralised Lokpal who will report to panel of most intelligent and eminent people headed by me.

Chiddu Uncle: No Sibal, it will be headed by me.

Veer Appa: No no... I know the law, I will head the panel.

Pronobda: Whot! Sho I will remain on onattractive finonsh minishtry. No, thish ish not happoning. I will head.

Sibal Uncle: Ok boss! stop making nonsense statements we shall go to Madamji she will decide. (I have a good jack with Diggy, ha ha ha, he murmured which was also recorded in the tape.). Arvind, what next?

Arvind Kejriwal: PM can be investigated with permission of seven member Lokpal bench.
Veer Appa (with big eyes): Oh no... we should need to consult with Madamji, because she told me that this clause was not included in the Indian Constitution.

Sibal Uncle: Arvind its not feasible as Manmohanji is very decent and soft personality and he does not work without the permission of Madamji. So accepting the above rule will also raise doubt about Madamji. We have a suggestion for you that PM can be investigated by Lokpal after she/he vacates office. So whenever Manmohanji vacates his office and Rahul Baba takes PM's chair, Lokpal can investigate Manmohanji.

Pronobda: Yea thatsh good Shibol. Whot do you think Shalomon.

Salman Bhaai: Yea that is right and it is constitutional as well.

Appa: Salman mind your own business, I am the law minister so I had to make that statement.
Even Madamji will like the point.

Arvind Kejriwal: What the h..l you are talking? We are serious and not kidding.

Pronobda: Whot Orbind you should moind yor tonge and shpeak in a proper way obout the panol that Madamji created. Now go back and we shall diskosh next points in next meeting.
All Team Anna Members left the conference room.

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