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Monday, 26 September 2011

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Emergency conference call of Congress intellectuals on the issues raised by Pronobda and Chiddu

Marred with bugs of his office, Pranab Mukherjee, Government's crisis manager called an emergency conference call with the intellectuals of Congress. DCFC received the copy of the concall transcript which helps us understand what decisions had been made in the conference call.

Players in the conference call (concall)

Manmohan Singh (Manji): Prime Minister, Soniaji's (Madamji) most trusted representative in the government

Pranab Mukherjee (Pronobda): Finance Minister, many bugs are diverted to his office; disaster controller

P Chidambaram (Chiddu uncle): Home Minister, bugs are generally diverted from his office

Digvijay Singh (Diggy Chacha): Strategist, expert in managing media, RSS, BJP, hindus, muslims, SCs, STs, Mayawati, Anna Hazare, Arvind Kejriwal, Suresh Kalmadi, and most important Rahul Baba etc., adviser to Madamji

Salman Khursheed (Salman Bhaai): Law Minister and upcoming crisis manager for the government

Rahul Gandhi (Rahul Baba): India's only youth icon, most desirable and future prime minister

Chiddu uncle: I don't want to accompany to Raja in Tihar jail. Yesterday, he sent me a letter asking me to join his conference on "improving ways of life in Tihar Jail". I was planning to go to Tirupati and thought to donate my hair to Balaji. However, it didn't help Yeddy Appa in Karnataka so I canceled that plan.

Salman Bhaai: Don't worry Chiddu we shall not let you to go to Tihar jail. According to law in Tobago, active minister should not be put into jail. I will ask Sibal to break his shut-the-mouth fast and discuss about the issue with Tobago's judiciary. Further, I will ask Delhi Police Commissioner to stop your arrest to avoid any public demonstration which will be at a larger scale than Anna Hazare. I know you have got much bigger support.

Pronobda: Forst of oll, tell me Chiddu who is bogging my hoffice. This not sho done; I woant reploy from you. Whoy avery toime moy mails and hoffice got boagged. Tomoarrow, anybody will bog moy hause also. There is no intornol security in this contry. My roshogullah, Surva was asking me whot Chiddu is doing besoide making b…s… statements on RSS, maoist and terrorists.

Diggy Chacha: I feel RSS is behind all this non-sense. I would like to blame everything on RSS. Chidduji is intellectually arrogant but innocent also. Pronobji, why don't you appoint Mamta as your internal security chief? Or now you can also ask Buddhadeb Bhattacharjee as your security chief, he is on a temporary retirement these days.

Salman Khurshid: Diggyji stop b…s….ing. We are not media to divert the saga. Today, Pranabda was bugged tomorrow who knows my number will come.

Pronobda: No no. I strongly object ogainst PMO that it leaked moy precious lettor to PMji.

Manji: Pranabda I can understand your feelings. I will convey the message to Madamji and I believe she will direct us to proper path. Now we shall discuss how to save India from European debt crisis.

Chiddu uncle: Pranabda, my issue is more serious than yours. I don't want a holiday with Raja I am happy with my family. And please Manji forget Europe discuss about me.

Salman Bhaai: I think we should opt for Court reforms to get bail easily and innocent ministers should not suffer by staying in Tihar jail.

Diggy Chacha: I feel RSS is behind all this non-sense. I would like to blame everything on RSS. Chiddu is innocent like Suresh Kalmadi.

Salman Bhaai (irritated voice): What Diggyji you keep quiet. We are serious here.

Manji: I suggest all you to discuss with Madamji and then we shall work as she direct. What do you think Baba?

Rahul Baba: I think we should adopt typical strategy before mummy answer on the issue. Chacha, you blame it on RSS for 2G controversy. Pronobda, you tell reporters "No comments" in a stern voice. Salman uncle, you ask for court reforms and divert the topic to African legislation in the eyes of Japanese reformists and Manji, as usual you say you are not a part of it.  

Everybody appreciated Rahul Baba's voice and wishes best luck for his journey to India's strongest and powerful seat and switched off the phones and the issue was submitted to Madamji to take final decision.

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