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Sunday, 21 August 2011

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Congress Party’s employment guarantee scheme and list of beneficiaries

Recently, DCFC saw an advertisement with few esteemed personalities in the society. It was Congress Party's advertisement.

Advertisement = Please Join Congress Party

Congress Party is famous for its motherly nature and love towards its main activists. The party never retires or dismisses its activists and always keeps an option open even if non-performance or corruption of that activist. The party functions like government department; always a job security and money. Please join as a beneficiary of the working of the most motherly party in the world.
Contact: Manish Tewari, Abhishek Manu Singhavi and Diggy Chacha

Attached is List of beneficiaries till date

Mr. Shivraj Patil:

India's former home minister, famous for changing clothes in spite of a severe terror attack. He is a perfect role model for many Page-3 celebrities. He was removed from the post of home minister as people and opposition felt he was a non-performer. However, Congress party had put him an esteemed post of Governor of Punjab and Administrator of Chandigarh. He is now all set to go for Rajya Sabha elections to back to his routine work as party feels people must have forgot everything. Party missed him a lot during his period of struggle.

Sushilkumar Shinde:

Mr. Shinde got a great family aura (no not Auro) as like Rahul Baba received as he born in Gandhi family and as like great A. Raja received as he was famous Dalit leader in Tamil Nadu (though he not shifted any scam money to any of the Dalits) when he was working for great social party DMK (no full form is not Dr. M. Karunanidhi or Dumb M Karunanidhi).

Mr. Shinde was first Dalit chief minister in 2003 and famous for his sloth kind of speed. Just one year back before becoming Maharashtra's chief minister, he contested the election for the post of Vice-President of India against the National Democratic Alliance's candidate Bhairon Singh Shekhawat and lost. However, the party true to its words gave him much better responsibility for money management and allowed him to be chief minister of India's biggest state. However, he could not act properly to manage money and then had to remove from the post and according to employment guarantee scheme he inducted on the position of Governor of Andhra Pradesh. Thereafter, when people forgot about his non-performance, the party allowed him to join Rajya Sabha and gave a position of Cabinet Minister for Power, where he does not recover to be speedy.

Vilasrao Deshmukh:

Ex-Chief minister of Maharashtra during 18 October 1999 – 16 January 2003 and 7 September 2004 – 5 December 2008. He was the most handsome and lovable personality in the Congress party and therefore nobody in Delhi wants to send him back to Maharashtra. Famous for accusations in some small scams like Adarsh Housing and CWG scam, he gave his entire life very gracefully for the Congress party. However, when he gave a "filmy" visit to Taj Hotel, Mumbai after the terror attack attracted a lot of controversies. Therefore, removed from the position and later immediately after 6 months with full of mercy, the party took him as Minister of Heavy Industries and Public Enterprises. Party thought people would have forgotten his "filmy visit".

Digvijay Singh (Diggy Chacha):

He is the gem of the Congress party. He is most intelligent creature of the universe. The party believes he is more intelligent than "Jadoo" and also believes that he must reincarnation of Jadoo. He served to party as a chief minister of Madhya Pradesh during 1993-2003. However, due to non-performance and few paltry scams as per the personal views of people, the party lost elections to non-secular BJP. Congress party offered him many esteemed positions but he took a temporary retirement for 10 years and threw himself in rebuilding Congress (Congress General Secretary's position) and teaching Rahul Baba (though he humbly denies). Because of his teachings, Rahul Baba also became the Congress General Secretary and very soon a PM of India.
His sacrifices were more than what Congress actually done to him and therefore it tolerates all his nonsense talks. Next year, Diggy will throw himself in the political struggle again and Party is committed to give back his CM's seat.

Manish Tewari:

Not much to talk about him, no performance till date besides talking on many topics. These days, he is under training of Diggy Chacha. He has been given an esteemed position of Congress Spokesperson.

Renuka Chowdhary:

Renuka aunty is recently passed out of the rigorous training course for becoming Professional Congress Mouthpiece with good numbers. Another wonder of Congress' employment guarantee scheme. She lost May 2009 elections by a paltry 1.5 lakh votes and was unemployed for few days. However, party inducted her as spokesperson. She is famous for her quotes that Rahul Baba is not parrot.

Janardan Dwivedi:

Despite a long political career, Mr. Dwivedi has to be elected through Rajya Sabha due to no public respect. He is famous for the incidence of 6 June 2011, Dwivedi was shoed by Sunil Kumar who claimed himself as a journalist from Jhunjhunu in Rajasthan state during a press conference in Delhi when he was criticizing Swami Ramdev and the Bharatiya Janata Party. The incidence was also famous for Diggy Chacha's few 4-5 kicks to Sunil Kumar after the activity. However, Diggy Chacha humbly said that it was out of outrage came from many people threw shoes on great politicians and to reduce worries of current politicians.

Congress gave him the most respected position of Chairman of the Media Department and Head Spokesperson of the Congress apart from serving as General Secretary of the party.  
He was among the four member committee that which includes, Rahul Baba, A.K.Antony and Ahmed Patel to look after the party affairs in Sonia Gandhi's absence.

Abhishek Manu Singhavi:

One more person who has no respect outside the Congress Party and the party guaranteed him the employment for life. He is a member of Rajya Sabha and famous for giving clean chit to Dow Chemicals in spite of Bhopal Gas leak incidence. The gas leak took lives of more than 8000 people in Bhopal. This guy now works as a spokesperson and giving advises to Anna Hazare to stop fast otherwise bear the brunt.

There are many beneficiaries of Congress' motherly policies. But due to non-boasting policies of Congress Party we don't provide their names.

Please come join Congress Party

Special space for Master Rahul Baba: Youth please come join Congress Party

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