(Mahesh Bhupathi wrote a column on India Satire after AITA kicked him out of India Tennis for next two years.)
Writing on India Satire is writing from my heart. Whatever AITA had done with me whether it offered to play with bunch of idio*s such as Leander and Sania or I chose to play with Rohan Bopanna who never could pull up the tennis racket in his life, was totally my decision and I never allow anybody to tell me with whom I should play. By the way, it is true I have never seen Rohan lifted his racket over 90 degree angle. I know he can't take so much of weight. However, Leander can take weight of any kind of racket but he likes to pull the balls of others in his hands and not racket.
Forget my weird sense of humor, right now I am in a sad feeling as I have to show I am in sad feeling. Still I feel it really hearts when somebody kicks on your ass when your balls are in your pants unprotected and vulnerable. While the case is similar with me. First Sania kicked me out just to Shoaib who never picked a Tennis ball in his life, just she thought I was less fairer. Leander was also thrown out of her life because of his colour, not skin colour but the weird colours of his clothes. Now it hurts when AITA just banned me for 2 years and still I am not getting support that cartoonist Aseem Trivedi received.
So it is always a question what would I do post ban? Many suggested me for checking with District Magistrate, High Court and then Supreme Court. However, I am not that dumbass to make such move. Who would like to keep the judgement on hold for next 20 years. And if the court is going to remove my ban after 20 years, I wouldn't have capabilities to play even with my grand child. By the way, Lara is getting fat these days still I have to lie her that she is still beautiful and slim, slimmer than Priyanka Chopra.
Ok so question remains, what would I do post ban. Actually, I have a detailed discussion with Rohan Bopanna who is still incapable to lift the Tennis racket will join me in IPL auction. Actually, this was my plan just before Olympics to join IPL but no team showed any interest in me, despite my great shot making capabilities. I have an independent study with me which shows that my Tennis shots are 99% similar to any kind of cricketing shots, which includes huge resemblance with Sachin Tendulkar's square drive, straight drive and cover drive. I can also cut, pool and hook the tennis ball. So I thought of joining Cricket through IPL but couldn't enter. However, recently I came to know that Deccan Chargers is going to get shut down and therefore plans to actually send my resume for the next auction of the new team. Finally, I know I am the greatest hooker in this world and can really join an IPL team. Therefore, my great fans don't worry but I am there in front of you in IPL. 