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Friday, 27 April 2012

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Tips to Sachin Tendulkar before joining as MP to Rajya Sabha

Welcome to a Circus where you will not be a Ring Master
Now as Sachin Tendulkar has decided to join the Rajya Sabha of India as a member of Parliament we are happy but sad too as nobody remains unbiased in the game of politics. India Satire’s all the correspondents while giving the thanks to Sachin Tendulkar also provides him some tips to tackle this new role. You may laugh on it, you may think on it, you may feel all these are idiotic, but these may be helpful.

·         Wear your helmet all the time. Nobody knows from where the ball comes and injury happens.
·         Use cover drive and square drive at full potential on the bowling from the opposition. But don't try to bowl them out as they are better batsmen than you.
·         Don't try to consider yourself as god, there are many in the Parliament.
·         You must have experienced over last few months how to skip the resignation demands. This experience you can use as a politician.
·         Here you can make 100 years as a MP, nobody will ask you for resign or everybody might have stopped asking about it.
·         100% chances that you will lose your innocence so shift from Boost to Revital for showing a masculinity attitude. You will say Revital hai to sab kuch hai, instead of Boost is the secret of my energy.
·         Congress always wants to play somebody as an opening batsman to cover / defend Rahul Baba in the middle. Chances are the party is going to send you as an opening batsman in the test matches of parliament, which you have no experience so be cautious.
·         Never learn from your mistakes but tell other people their mistakes.
·         Fu*k the past experience, start a new with every passing day, is the past mantra of every politician. They are so idiots that they forget what they did in the past, near past or far more past. Example of near past is Abhishek Manu Singhvi and far more past is Bofors and Rajiv Gandhi.
·         Here you are not Sachin Tendulkar, only Sachin Tendulkar is Rahul Baba and Ramakant Acharekar is Diggy Chacha, so take few tips from Gautum Gambhir, Virendar Sehwag, Murli Kartik, or Virat Kohli as how they manage to play under pressure that the country only follows Sachin Tendulkar.
·         Married? that's great because every Congressman thinks every single girl, aunty, divorcee or widow is made for Rahul Baba.
·         Don't concentrate on the innings here, as concentration on each ball means you will be out from any of other multiple balls.
·         By the way, you are most welcome to Congress Party which has tried to betray nation also tried to turn the headlines of media from Abhishek Manu Singhvi, Bofors scam and now Toilet scam.
·         And last but not least, Congress party chooses you to turn the nation's eyes from the great High Profile Toilet            Scam, don't forget this so that your feet will be always on the earth.

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