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Thursday, 15 December 2011

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DiggyLeaks: Pranab Mukherjee's fast for once a day helped reduce India's food inflation

A leaked government document revealed astonishing information to DCFC reporter. India's finance minister stopped eating once a day helped reduce India's inflation drastically. The document also stated that every minister of Congress is trying for image make over, to gain confidence of India's voters.

"Yes, that's true! Pranabda eats once a day only. I don't have any authority to talk about this but still we really feel sad that he himself started this action to show the voters that he doesn't always mean words, but sometimes action also," said a senior leader of Congress requesting anonymity.

"His strategy worked out clearly well. Food inflation, which rose sharply by 11.81% in the last week of October increased by paltry 4.35% in first week of December. The credit goes to Pranabda only," said India's sad home minister Chiddu uncle.

"I alwaysh shaid that government effortsh shud work well. I derefore shtop eating wonsh a day to cool down tho inflashon," Pranabda said with a beautiful smile. "I ashk other politishon to follow me, shpesholly Nitin Godkoriji," he advised other politicians.

A closed source said that Pranabda had a serious discussion with Soniaji last month wherein most of the ministers agreed for a serious makeover of the ministers and politicians to lure Indian voters. Another reason was rising attacks on politicians. "After Sharad Pawar debacle, Diggyji asked Madamji to take emergency meeting to improve Congress' politician image," said the source.

"Pranabda chose not to eat vegetables and sweets made by milk as prices of both the commodities rose at staggering rates. He also advised Diggy to stop eating butter as prices of high protein based food were sky high," said the senior leader.

Suvradidi, Pranabda's spouse also confirmed the development. "Yosh, he shtop eating food in tho evening," just wiping out two tears from her eyes "for a month he evon didn't eat hish favorite rosho gullah. Losht week when I oshked him to eat it he shaid no Shurva it eeish for shochial caush."

When DCFC reporter asked Pranabda's closed associate that why did he chose not to eat rasgulla, who requested not to be identified said "Actually, prices of high protein content food were growing rapidly. Therefore, he skipped rasgullah from his every day's dinner, which caused correction in protein based food prices."

Another source said that Rahul Baba when saw Pranabda's sacrifice felt very sad and he is thinking to stop eating Amul Butter.

"That is also a strategy for image makeover of Rahul Baba. Baba is famous for his Amul Baby tag. Therefore, Diggy Chacha himself asked him to stop eating butter for a while and switch to more pizza (prices of which are stable)," said Manish Tewary who is searching a good responsibility on his shoulder after Anna Hazare fiasco. "Diggy Chacha thinks Rahul Baba will suit as Pizza Boy rather than Amul Baby," Manish added.

When DCFC reporter asked Pranabda about the development "Whot the bollshit! How would I shtop eating moy favorite roshogullah? I oshked Shurva to make me shugar free roshogullah. Bot she oshked me to tok with Madamji to raish our shalaries firsht becosh prishes of shugar free alsho incleashed."

The document revealed few other names who are asked to makeover

Manmohan Singh: Joined the classes of communication

Rahul Baba: Will talk sensibly, will try to live in sensible company and will stop eating butter from Diggy Chacha, 
Manish Tewary, Rashid Alvi, Rita Bahuguna Joshi and all other party members

Kapil Sibal: Will stop giving stress to his brain, which is disfunctional since a long time.

Salman Khurshid: Will study law before talking anything on law

P Chidambaram: Will visit temples to get saved from Appu Raja

Manish Tewary: Will join 5th class and start his broken educational career again before re-entering the politics

Digvijay Singh: Will open his mouth only to show his beautiful grin for any question asked by any reporter and will 
not give more than 2 answers per week

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