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Monday, 23 April 2012

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US security reviewed DNA of Infosys employees, found matching with donkeys


Rising work pressure and extending timings converted man into ass, said reports

US' Department of Homeland Security (DHS) found that DNA of employees is similar to that of Ass. These astonishing results increased troubles for India's one of the most reputed IT companies.

US' Department of Homeland Security (DHS), which started reviewing employer eligibility of Infosys after finding errors in identity verification forms of some of its staff found these shocking results.

"We agreed that the employees at Infosys look like human beings. However, their DNA matches with the donkeys rather than any other ordinary human being," said an official Rod Toppler at DHS.

Experts said that conversion of man into ass is out of Ass-oholic-onomic syndrome, which is rising fast in Indian IT and software engineers.

"This is Ass-oholic-onomic syndrome, which is witnessed in people who work late nights for useless assignments with less or minuscule reward," said Dr. Rajesh Sharma, who studied Ass-oholic-onomic over last 35 years.

Rajesh Sharma told that Ass-oholic-onomic increases levels of blood pressure (BP) faster while and doubly fast reduces the rate of sperm count. He said that this kind of double whammy is possible with Infosys employees.

Giving reference to Times of India's news, Rajesh Sharma said for Infosys that the fertility rate will fall doubly faster for Infosys against the globe.

He said "No fertile men in 25 years for Infosys."

Infosys management, however, denied that its employees have become ass holes.

"Our senior management is highly reputed and most intellectual in the world. We check their DNAs time-to-time and they found that they are human beings only," said S. D. Shibulal, CEO of Infosys. However, he denied that such kind of studies they have done with lower or middle management people.

K V Kamath, chairman of Infosys who revolutionalised a 16 hours work concept in India through ICICI Bank said "It is not necessary, whether donkeys should work for you or a human being. He has to be disciplined and work for 16 hours at least. See where ICICI Bank is today. Because of converting employees into donkeys, the bank is on a faster growth than its peers."

Process of converting human being into ass hole/donkey

However, a source in Infosys said that the process of converting a person into ass starts at trainee levels.
The source said "Ass-a-holic is a person next after work-a-holic."

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