Major Development

Now India Satire is more beautiful, much faster and much more fun. will remain here with all the stories. But for new stories our users have to access

Please give us your feedback for more and more entertaining content and the quality of website at

Follow India Satire

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

Pin It


DCFC’s new serial - SibalNama Episode-1 – “Invention of Zero Loss Theory”

India's most talented and glamorous minister; Kapil Sibal (Sibal Uncle) is a man of his words (or man with a lot of words like Basanti in Sholay) although nobody takes him seriously he is worthy to be taken very seriously (his supporter said). Sibal Uncle is an inventor of a Zero Loss Theory (no it's not related to Kareena's Zero Figure as he himself has not seen any loss in his own figure) and inventory of many words has shoot his words again.

DCFC finds it grateful to consider him seriously and is starting a serial called "SibalNama". The serial is full of contents of action, drama and emotions. We assure our viewers to enjoy the serial more than a Daily Soap.

We are presenting the first episode of SibalNama.

Episode-1 – "Invention of Zero Loss Theory"

Sibal Uncle knows everything he understands everything and he talks on anything. Considering his strength, Madamji (Soniaji) gave him the best position in ministries where the government could use his strength at optimum levels. It was the position where he doesn't require shutting his mouth (flexibility to shut or not to shut brain).

As a prominent Lawyer his words and expressions are very much restricted in the Courts only. The Law Ministry (most related to Uncle's profession) is very much unglamorous job and also caters to a niche with limited people to listen. Therefore, Uncle was granted a glamorous job of Telecom Minister which had a predecessor like Tamil Movie Hero look alike Great A. Raja, who left the job as some anti-social people conspired against him.

Sibal Uncle who is experience of handling multi-tasks took the responsibility on his shoulders. Madamji and Manji felt that Sibal Uncle was the only person who moves 3600. Uncle took the task on his shoulders happily just like Rani Mukherjee took the task of giving justice to Jessica on her shoulder and promised that he will find out those anti-social elements and will give justice to great A. Raja.

Uncle started a campaign to save Raja (lives in hearts of many poor people) and poor corporate who were going to increase huge competition in India (for which the government gave them subsidy and it was not a scam). In this entire campaign, Uncle added many feathers to his cap (and many prospective clients as well may be for post elections purpose… ha… ha…). One such feather was a Zero Loss theory. When the entire nation was crying over the 2G scam of Rs176,379Cr, estimated by Comptroller and Auditor General (CAG) based on the money collected from 3G licenses, Uncle put his Zero Loss Theory in front of everybody and caught the eyes of the nation for the first time. Sibal Uncle was taken into notice for the first time so seriously that many theories started floating.  

So what is the Zero Loss Theory all about?

In his document, Sibal Uncle said there was no policy flaw and CAG's estimates of revenue losses from under pricing of spectrum were grossly overvalued.

The UPA only followed NDA policies in awarding 2G licences in 2008, Sibal told reporters, describing as "utterly erroneous" CAG Vinod Rai's estimation of Rs1.76 lakh Cr loss in government revenues. He said the CAG had done "grave injustice" to the issue. (Oops… Uncle was too harsh on CAG).

Turning the tables on the NDA, Sibal said in fact, a policy shift from auction of licences to revenue-sharing took place under the NDA, which led to a loss of Rs150,000Cr. However, he didn't say a word that why UPA government followed such erroneous policy of NDA government.

"Why is the BJP not talking about that loss? We are following the National Telecom Policy (NTP) of 1999," Sibal Uncle said.

Explaining how the government made no loss, Sibal Uncle argued: "There is a clause in the licence that each service provider has to pay for spectrum beyond 6.2 MHz. Only, those fees would be decided by the government. However, no decision on that has been taken. So, CAG cannot presume any loss, as the price of the 2G spectrum is not decided."

However, CAG ignored the statement by saying "Once submitted to Parliament, CAG reports are the property of the Public Accounts Committee. No one in CAG can comment on any observations made on the report," a CAG official said.

The BJP lambasted Sibal Uncle "If the entire argument is that there was no loss to the  exchequer, then why did Raja resign," asked party leader Arun Jaitley, adding: "Sibal's entire argument is fallacious. He is just playing with statistics. When spectrum was allotted in 2008, why was it done at 2001 prices?"

CAG's Major Loss Theory invented Zero Loss Theory… saga ended with TRAI's report

CAG's Major Loss Theory

SibalNama Zero Loss Theory


Considering the revenue earned during the auction of 3G spectrum, the government lost an est. Rs176000Cr in selling 2G spectrum at a fixed price instead of auctioning it.

3G and 2G spectrum prices cannot be compared as the former is much more efficient and thus, more expensive. Also, 2008 and 2010 prices are not comparable. The presumptive loss by not auctioning 2G is only (?) Rs17,755Cr.

Claims of vendors/service providers that 3G is three times more efficient than 2G can only be right if technological innovations that are available for 2G networks are not adopted. These innovations have resulted into delivery of not only similar capacity of 2G networks as of 3G but even higher.

Government lost Rs36,993Cr in allotting spectrum beyond the start-up quantity of 6.2 MHz.

Telecom regulator is yet to give recommendations on pricing of the extra spectrum. CAG presumes a loss that may not exist.

In 2008, the price paid by new entrants for pan-India UASL licences with 6.2MHz of spectrum was Rs1,658Cr, while now the Trai-determined price for the same spectrum is pegged at Rs10,972.45Cr on a MHz-to-MHz comparison.

The government lost Rs37,154Cr by foregoing revenues from those allotted start-up spectrum of 6.2 MHz, mainly Tata Teleservices and Reliance Communications.

The operators were given only 4.4 MHz. Hence the loss is less (?), around Rs26,367Cr. Also, start-up spectrum has always been given free with licences. Looked that way, there was no loss at all (ha... ha... ha...).


Recent Articles

Read Archive