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Thursday, 12 April 2012

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RESEARCH AND STUDIES: Mahesh Bhatt chews a private brand Pan Masala


Chewing and Munching tooth shows height of intellectualism - Experts

India Satire finally found the reason why the hell Mahesh Bhatt looks like chewing something while talking. After intense investigation and detailed research, the India Satire research team finally found that Mahesh Bhatt chews Pan Masala of a private brand, a kind of sweet supari all the time.

Ram Kisan, Mahesh Bhatt's servant, reaching whom was very difficult and risky task for India Satire correspondent revealed that his boss eats Rajanigandha Pan Masala, world’s largest selling brand of meetha supari that helps Indians to rule world.

Mahesh Bhatt without talking anything
Ram Kisan said "U Mahesh saab kaa roj Rajanigandha Paan Masala laagat hai. Ukaa jab bhi sochnaa hot hai tab wo u masala khaat hai. Jab bhi hum kaa daatnaa hot hai tabaiy bhi unkaa laagat hai."
However, India Satire didn't take Ram Kisan's words at face value and did its intensive research, findings of which are quite astonishing.

While going through old and new videos Mahesh Bhatt, India Satire found that he has a habit to talk like chewing his own tooth, which just not only portray him as an intellectual and studied the topic quite carefully but also he and only he has fuc*ing authority of talking on that topic. While India Satire was quite amazed with Mahesh Bhatt's authoritative skills over any of single or multiple topics in the world which include from why Congo women have all the rights to remain nude to why India has no guts to watch porno movies. He also talked authoritatively on why should and shouldn't Anna Hazare talks on film industry's corruption.

India Satire along with other news media people was working on the reason how he can talk so authoritatively our first finding was shocking. Mahesh Bhatt talks so authoritatively because whatever he says is by munching his own tooth so harshly that everybody feels he is talking something significant and intellectual. On that basis, India Satire got a very good direction.

Mahesh Bhatt munching his own tooth - Zoom View

After getting preliminary direction, India Satire started searching to find out two things. First, was it natural for Mahesh Bhatt munching, cracking, crunching and chewing his own tooth or did he use some bit of external supplement for doing this exercise. Second was what helped him to keep his tooth so strong and powerful despite so much of humiliation.

While India Satire correspondent kept close watch on Mahesh Bhatt's routine, the correspondent also asked private detective recommended by renowned CID Dayanand Shetty to find out the actual reason. After Ram Kisan's statement, India Satire took Mahesh Bhatt's recent and historical photographs to reveal the truth and found out that he just uses external supplement to easily chew, munch and masticate his own words so that world can identify him as talking authoritatively and seriously.

Findings also revealed that Mahesh Bhatt chewing pan masala helped him maintain his tooth colorful, strong and healthy also. Many experts also say that chewing tooth shows height of intellectualism.

When India Satire correspondent called Mahesh Bhatt, he denied everything and told that munching his own teeth 
is out of natural habit. But he warned his fans of doing this exercise often requires high expertise and it is not for everybody.

Various expressions of Mahesh Bhatt,
munching his mouth sharply and expressing his own personal views
Colgate, a renowned toothpaste manufacturer had contacted India Satire for transferring the rights the patent to the company so that it would bring Pan Supari Toothpaste to improve health of tooth of Indians.

Colgate's chairman Mukul Deoras said "Colgate is already recommended by 95% dentists in India. Pan Supari Toothpaste will surely bring that to 99%. We shall also unveil a market of huge population which eats pan masala and pan supari."

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