NEWS IN BRIEF - TECHNOLOGY
Trying to change opinions of analysts by making it more and more lucrative
After a very lackluster trading on the US stock exchanges and consistently deterioarating investor value, Facebook decided to change its name to integrate new services which include evergreen porn under its umbrella and will offer these new value added services to a seriously damn new loyal customers.
Facebook IPO was valued at $38 per share. However, after a lack of investor interest and sharp criticisms from analyst community the price of shares dropped sharply to $25 per share straight-a-way wiping out 34% from the market cap.
"This social networking business sucks! Useless and hopeless. Everytime new thing comes and our serious users get diverted to some other idiotic sites. However, interest in porn and loyalty in porn services never dies. Therefore, we decided to introduce a new booby concept in Facebook. Under that strategy, first we shall change Facebook's name to Faceboob, which will help the site to get a huge leads from search engines but also recognition of an all service umbrella. Further Faceboob name looks good, people will always feel like pressing on to our site which will be an added sentimental boost for the company's business," said company CEO, Mark Zuckerberg.
Zuckerberg also appealed analyst community to believe in his differently wide creative skills and stop nonsensical articles.
Analysts, earlier predicted that the company's existence is hardly for 5-8 years as more and more mobile based sites are getting popular.
"We don't want our stock to see zero dollars before 5-8 years period, therefore we are seriously working out this concept. Besides web portal, our Android and iPhone applications will show the data," said Zuckerberg.
Though, he didn't disclose what would be content, sources said that the users will allow to post pornographic photos and videos on the site and as a value added services he would get a dislike button to click on.
To start the process, sources said that Mark Zuckerberg will himself post his own nude photos on his profile.
